I’m in a kid coma.
At 3:30, four year old Emma was not interested in nap time, but I was dying for it. We’d already hit the pool, bandaged the resulting toe wound, watched Cinderella, lunched on PB&J, read four picture books (Melisande, twice), snacked on teddy bear cookies, sidewalk chalked my patio, and were hitting play on The Wizard of Oz.
“What kind is this?” Emma asked, handing me the white VHS box.
“What kind?” I wasn’t sure I understood.
“It’s a video,” I said, finally.
“What’s a viii-dee-oh?” she asked, slowly repeating her new word.
“Uh… it’s just really old.”
“Okay! Old! Perfect!”
Oh, man, the way this dimpled little imp said “perfect!” to things like a fistful of fake Teddy Grahams or the little clip I put in her hair – I swear, it very nearly made me forget about the peanut butter she wiped on the new microfiber dining chair. I have got to be quicker with the napkins, obviously. I could have taken some cues about quickness from Sir Hal, who,for the entire day, kept just out of arm’s length. Artful dodger, that guy. And, like me, he’s been a lump on the couch for the last hour recuperating.
Actually, I think I’ve stumbled onto a new source of cheap, green energy. I haven’t worked out all the details yet, but basically, corral a buncha four-year- olds, then hook ‘em up to this thing which collects energy (yeah, that’s the technical term), and route that to your home. Then suggest maybe it’s nap time. That sticky-fingered, giggly mess of nap resistance will soon become the answer to the summer’s central air bill.
I’m brilliant. Comatose, but brilliant.
Brilliant is an understatement. When I see my three year old adorable nephew, with all his never ending energy, I feel like becoming a lump on the couch too.
I get my 4 days with a four-year-old starting on Sunday. We’ve got visits to the zoo, the tour trolley, the new penguin surf movie, Chuck E. Cheese, the discovery center and shopping on our agenda.
I need to find my sidewalk chalk!
Awww…Emma sounds just “perfect”
I believe the word is dynamo. And it is an ingenius plan. Obviously you’re not a parent because you did not threaten to kill Dora if Emma didn’t take a nap.
Your biological clock stopped ticking for just a little while didn’t it? And then it started ticking louder than ever.
How do they do that?
Brilliant indeed! She truly sounds adorable, especially because Emma is what I want to name my little girl, if/when I have her!
There is nothing like a kid to make an Adult want to take a nap.
it’s funny… when you’re a kid, you despise naptime. Now that i’m a working adult (Sir Hal, say it with me…Hissssss) I think it should be a part of every day.
Awwwwww – she sounds CUTE!
You have that calling like Dr. Gadget or Rube Goldberg – Just make sure you don’t let the little ones put a cheese slice into the VCR feeder. Say “the wizard is in there and doesn’t want to be fed”.
Fish, as a sophomore in highschool I began reading your blog. A link on a NYC Bloggers site lead me to you. I quickly became hooked. You had the life I dreamed about. A single woman living in New York City enjoying all that it had to offer, I was envious. I continued reading religiously for two years. I am now days away from my highschool graduation. When you broke the news that you were moving to Texas I was devistated. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would give up a lifestyle like yours; however, as I prepare to leave home and begin an entirely new chapter in my life, I understand you feeling the need to do the same. Sometimes we need to let go of something great in order for it to sustain its magic. So I hope Texas allows you as much excitement as New York had, and I hope this chapter in your life is one I am eager to read.
Energy vampires that’s what they are. My nephew and niece who are 4 and 2, just have to be awake and suddenly…I’m tired.
Students at BYU just came up with playground equipment that will generate power as kids play. They are setting it up in impoverished countries to power the schools. Kids can wear themselves out on the merry go round and the school can function for another week.
Oh my 4 year old niece will use Love and Logic on her mother! What did we feed them to make those midgets smarter than us? haha
There is not a parent out there who doesn’t wish they could bottle and sell their pre-schoolers energy…. it would make millions. If you ever figure out how to do it, please share…. I have a 5 year old and a newborn…talk about a sleep coma… I remember something like sleep….doesn’t it involve closing your eyes and being in a horizontal position…. oh fond memories.
I have a four year old nephew who insists on actin like a monkey al the time!! no i’m not tryin to insult him.. thats really a fact!! he keeps trying to climb on me with his hands and legs.. as if i’m a tree or somthin!! he really tries to climb on everyone he sees!! i duno wat to do to stop that but resisting getting climbed on by a four year old for hours can be vry vry vry exhausting!!!!!!!
“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap. If you want happiness for a day — go fishing. If you want happiness for a month — get married. If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
I feel compelled to write ‘Oh, I so know what you mean!!’
A 2 year old moved in at my place and life has changed … often comatose I soldier on but the peanut butter thing, I know.
Harness the energy … you would only need 3 of them to power America.
You’re idea about harnessing their energy is great…not to mention sustainable. You should pass it on the the No Impact Man. Pop in the Monsters Inc. DVD for the little tykes to keep them busy while you nap and if you get a chance to watch it, it sort of encompasses your idea.
if you want happiness for a week get a new pet