Gah!
I know, I know. Where have a I been? A better question, however, would be where have I not been. And the answer would be, “Home.” This last week has been something of a circus (except without clowns; clowns are truly terrifying). The job search has finally been yielding interviews – can you hear the arteries in my head unclogging? – and I’ve been zipping around Greater Dallas in a suit and heels trying to win folks over with my wit, charm and unparalleled multi-tasking skills. It’s exhausting.
And it reminds me a whole lot of dating. The getting dressed up for a stranger, hoping they will like you (and that you will like them, but really, that’s kind of secondary), and the feeling, regardless of your own level of interest, of total agonizing defeat when they don’t jump at the chance to make you theirs. Regardless of your desirability, you should want me. I am fabulous! It’s sick, really. Also, when you haven’t worked in a while, you can’t help but feel just the tiniest bit desperate – certain that if you don’t get some soon (work, that is), you’re actually going to reclaim your employment virginity. Agonizing.
There’s no way I’d survive half a dozen first dates in one week, but I throw myself out there gladly for the torture of interviewing, because let’s be honest, mama needs some health insurance. And unemployment is speedily running out.
The more I think about it, there seems to be only one glaring way in which interviews differ from first dates: I don’t fix myself a cocktail while I’m getting ready for interviews. Believe me, I’m tempted, but it’s hard enough to land a job in this town without having to explain why you smell faintly of vodka and lime.
Boring informational comment starts here:
http://www.benefithouse.com/texas/short-term-health-insurance.html
I did this in CA a few years ago before purchasing an individual HSA and High Deductible Plan. I have been self-employed for 19 years. I make more money than many people I know who are “employed” by others, I get a deduction for self-employed health insurance premiums on my tax return and the HSA funds are mostly tax-free too.
While my plan is not perfect; (I have a PPO with a $2400 deductible). My monthly premiums (at age 40) went from close to $700 for my son and I down to $300. Let’s see…not a math wiz…but I saved $4800 but have to pick up the first $2400… if something happens…and still not have to report to someone else who can decide one day there is not enough money in the budget to keep my position around…not enough money for bonuses…they pick my health insurance…yada…yada…yada.
If you ever decide to do 100% freelance or other forms of 1099 work, there are options for the health insurance issue, assuming underwriting is not the issue.
And the whole first date analogy…and the ‘even if I don’t want you…I want you to want me’…oh so appropriate!
Great…now I put that song in my head. Who sang…”I want you to want me…need you to need me…”
I hate it when I do that.
I think that would have been the Beatles, yes?
Anyway, I feel ya sister! I got laid off 3 months ago and unemployment in Florida is minimum wage. Before they even take out taxes I come up $100 short just on bills I have to mail out. I can now see why most Americans are 2 paychecks away from becoming homeless.
I’m glad you’re at least getting interviews. I’m in architecture and the housing market is in a slump. I don’t have enough experience for the arch jobs that are available but yet I’m “overqualified” for the monkey jobs. The only interviews I’ve had since November have been with recruiters who have not really been all that much help.
And just like with dating, the more rejection or lack of interaction I have, the more insecure I start feeling. “What’s wrong with me?” syndrom.
Good luck with your search.
I’m thinking of a career switch myself, and am dreading that “dating” stage. Good luck on the hunt- and may you find one that wants you, that you want back. And health insurance.
I have learned that it is easy to make money but it is more difficult to make a living. People choose the difficult way because they think it is secure. Remember the applicant who has the chemistry usually gets hired.
Good luck with the interviews.
I’m quite sure that Bath & Body Works has a new vodka and lime body wash.
I’m glad you are still alive! Good luck on the job hunt!
Blech, makes my shoulders tense up just thinking about it. Hang in there, something will come together soon enough!
Hah, job hunting is like dating, but without the fun reckless behavior! I’m in b-school and it feels like dating in Manhattan – 10 jobs, 250 highly qualified, highly ambitious candidates. Best of luck! Don’t let the rejections (that are inevitable) make you question your abilities, talents, and character.
As someone who’s on the other side in both the dating and job market, I can say I’ve muttered the same thing on occasion. Good luck on both
Oh, and I like the double entendre. Good setup.
This analogy explains so much! My fear of commitment has led me into my single, self-employed state. I guess I never was good at compromise…
i thought you vodka didn’t smell like anything!
after so many interviews, doesn’t it just feel like formalities are dumb and then you start treating your interviewer like an old friend?…replying way too casually and actually cracking jokes and forgetting that it’s a job interview and not hanging out with your buddy? ummm maybe that’s just how it goes with me
Heather -
If a guy isn’t into you then he’s just not worthy.
(and possibly and idiot to boot)
Yep – it’s as simple as that
Good luck with the job interviews
MarkJ
the song was “I want you to Want Me” by the group “Cheap Trick” and on the Live at Budokan album (late 70s i think)
You’re so right–interviewing IS a lot like dating! In both cases, you’re trying to make a good first impression. You know you’re being judged, at least in part on your appearance. You feel compelled to put on a show (or maybe that’s just me). Ugh–so stressful! Sending you positive vibes from DC.
But, hey–at least with interviews, you don’t have to wonder whether or not you’re going to invite him up to your apartment…
That song was so not by the Beatles…
Oh, how I feel your pain, though admittedly mine is more along the lines of premeditated fear since I’m just beginning my first real job search. I’m not going to lie. It’s rather terrifying. Especially when you find one you really want, and are terrified they won’t want you back. And as far as dating is concerned…you express things so well. Who doesn’t want to be wanted and to be able to make the decision of whether or not you want the person?
I just compared jobs to relationships earlier this week. My comparison was about knowing when and if you should leave one. Either starting or ending one, job or relationshiup, I think I need to start considering the whether I like them part a little more. Perhaps we all should.
Sounds like a really rough week, and I really hope that you get a great job out of it. Interviewing is grueling, but landing a great job is well worth it. Best of luck, and hang in there! : )
Have you ever gone on a date and you were just not feeling the guy and hoped he didn’t call so you didn’t have to give him the “thanks but no thanks” talk? I just went on an interview and wasn’t “feeling” the company as I thought they would pay too low and was hoping not to get an offer. Of course, I got an offer. But now I’m thinking things over as the offer was better than I had originally thought! I also had one of those dates but luckily went out with him one more time and now we’ve been together for almost a year and he is the best thing to ever happen to me. I’ve learned first impressions aren’t everything, in jobs and in relationships. Maybe approach that next interview like you really don’t want it and you’ll get that call for employment!
at least you’ve got unemployment!
i have my very first real life interview this week!
good job vibes all around!
You say you’re a multi-tasker yet you don’t go to interviews drunk.
FOR
SHAME
!
I’ve been reading this blog forever and feel like a comment is finally due.
You rocked this blog girl…I hate dating..job searching comes in second.
I totally agree w/ you interviewing and dating are the same. Both should require drinking involved!
I really enjoy you’re writing. I tune every couple days. Its fun, you express humor well in your experiences… if you ever get a moment, check mine out.
keep up the blog-roll!
Being a work write at home mom, I thought I didn’t have to go through any interviews anymore. But I did. And, I don’t like that. Yet, it’s gotta be done.
When I used a career-services firm (yeah, they’re out there like matchmakers) I would see the same people at job interviews and fairs. Scary stuff – like the commercial with the same fat guy in his bathrobe picking up his newspaper and waving at his good looking neighbor every morning. Can be harder if you’re a member of a group. I auditioned with my new Reggae band on Thur. at New York Comedy Club just to see who’se responsible in the group. The DJ didn’t show up and the main MC an hour late. We still got upgraded to Friday performances. Ringo stole the grammy awards. Like the Seinfeld/Newman rivalry, with every Beatle mention/award, Jagger was beating hand into fist saying “Beatles!”
You’re charming?
But, yes, health insurance would be so nice. In case all that vodka did something bad to the rest of you.
Heather, I just know you’ll find something great. I follow your blog faithfully and will be thinking of you! Knock their socks off! (incidentally, some of my favorite entries on your blog were related to the office world.)
Hey Fish,
Following your train of thought, just one piece of (unsolicited, I know, but I’ve been there with you and this might help) advise: don’t let either men or prospective employers smell your desperation. Total mood killer for both.
I wish you luck!
Aw, come on. Do you REALLY think I need to be told that? Silly.
Being fresh from recent dating rejection (from someone who I finally wanted to spend more time with)…and a long string of first and occasionally second or third dates (I think I maxxed out at 5 in a week)…I feel your pain. Good luck with your interviewing. Hey, at least when it’s an interview there’s no question what to wear (suit) or how to greet hello or goodbye (shake). If it’s an all-day interview and they take you out to lunch, you know they pay. And you know you’re at least most likely to get a call/letter letting you know one way or another whether they liked you.
It’s interesting, though, I’m much more confidant about an interview than a date. Wonder why. Maybe I need to create a dating ‘resume’…to remind myself why I’m a catch in that arena, too.
Best wishes for speedy and fulfilling employment.
When interviewing for my current job, I got the Job Interview equivalent of “Why are you still single?”. In other words, “You’re so awesome, why hasn’t anyone snapped you up?” It was very funny.
Remember, it’s not always about how awesome they or you are, but about the match. Searching for a job IS dating. But you eventually get paid for the job.
I totally used to have a few glasses of wine before a first date. It was the only way to get through the horror of it all….
I don’t usually comment on your blogs (even though I read it religiously) but I couldnt resist this one…
I am completely in the same boat as you with the whole ‘interviewing a few times a week’ thing. and its so exhausting and anxiety-ridden work. sometimes i think you should be paid for going through interviews, especially with some lasting over an hour! and i SO can see the comparability with first dates – and i have to say i should’ve been paid for babysitting on a couple of those.
For what its worth, from one fellow job-searcher to another – Best of Luck!
ahhh, health insurance…I remember those days…
I also feel you re: the quizillion interviews you go on. The only upshot of it is that it gets the nerves out, so when you do finally interview for the job you are meant to have, you will be in fine form.
you know what I just thought of though, how even more nerve racking than a first date with a guy, is a first date with a girl that you think you might want to be good friends with. it can be very awkward, no, asking out a potential girlfriend?
Oh, the dreaded all day interview. I always blew it at the lunch. They send you with people who would be your peers rather than supervisors, and I could just never figure out what appropriate behavior was. I always tried to be more laid back, like someone you’d want at the next cubicle, but in retrospect I think it’s better to just maintain “interview mode” throughout. At the job I actually wound up in, my interview was sort of a “special case” so I didn’t get the usual recruiting treatment – just interviews with the firm partners, no lunch or lame team building exercises (I’m pretty sure I really lucked out there).
Totally True. They are kind of the same thing. Be of good cheer though, from your blog I can see you are smart, talented and have a good sense of humor. They’d be fortunate to have you. Don’t let the business get you down, everyone goes through the grinder, so to speak.
Cheers and good luck!
Ed
I have a lead that might be a perfect fit for you. It is in Carrollton, which isn’t too far. Let me know if you are interested in the link for the job posting, i can send it to you. Best of luck in your search!
Good Luck with finding the right job. Or even just a job for right now. Job hunting can truly be terrifying!!! But they are on no way as terrifying as clowns. I would go to 3 interviews a day just to never see a clown again. They give me the heebie jeebies mayne!
Oy! I am going through both of these nightmares now as well. In my case, things are looking up too. Had an interview last night, and that was as close to a date on Valentine’s Day as I got! It went well and I will know my fate by this afternoon…as far as the dates…big zilch-o on that front! Cheers!
OK, then. I’ll take my very silly advise back. You may keep the good wishes, though.