I almost cried when my alarm went off this morning.
The bed was a nest of twisted sheets and crumpled duvet, and all but one pillow was flung to the floor – evidence not of some wild and crazy nocturnal extracurricular activities, but of a restless night. Sleep without rest is just cruel. Especially when 5:30 rolls around and you have to decide between getting up to meet your running partner or catching another hour of sleep. This morning, I chose to fight the good fight, but damn if that was not an easy decision to make. I waffled more than once. Like, when I stumbled into the bathroom and saw that my eyes were swollen and puffy like I’d actually gone ahead with the boo-hoo fest and I thought, See? I can’t POSSIBLY go running today; my eyes are puffy! What if they get even puffier and I can’t SEE and run into a tree or a BUS?
If I were ever in a pageant, my talent would be rationalization. I have a gift for it. But I also have a pretty strong desire to not suck in the Whiterock Marathon relay in December, and an even stronger desire to wear pieces from my wardrobe I don’t normally refer to as “my fat clothes,” so I splashed some cold water on my face, laced up my sneakers (while singing a refrain from Billy Madison. “…got my shoes tied tight. I hope I don’t get in a fight…”) and headed out the door.
Outside, the sky was gorgeous, clear and starry, and after a few minutes of walking and gazing, I forgot all about being tired. See, I thought. You’re not tired. You’re just lazy! Look what a beautiful morning you would have missed! Run! Run and be in love with life! Aw, inspirational right? Well, the magic of that sweet little moment lasted only as long as the 2-mile run. Because at 7:45AM when I woke up on my couch in my running clothes, sweaty strands of hair plastered to my cheek, with no memory of having lain down in the first place, I realized I’d been had.
Effing nature.
effing hilarious.
I’ve sworn off early morning exercise. I’ve nursed too many bruises after flopping over sideways during what ought to be a pretty routine yoga pose because I was awake but my equilibrium was apparently still dozing. It really is the most convenient time of day to hit the gym (you avoid the time consuming and skin drying second shower/primping of the day and don’t have to lug a gym bag around with you), but man is it painful.
Kudos to you for getting up and going at all! The extra little nap was earned!
My friends say my if I were a superheo i would be “The Almighty Rationalizer.” They always come to me when they feel guilty or just bad about something because I can rationalize it all away. I think I would still rather fly or be bulletproof though. But then who would make everything ok?
I’m a 5 AM runner too. More than once I’ve sat on the couch to cool off before showering and woken up an hour or so later. I always feel like I’m in the early stages of decay, I imagine I smell that way too.
No, kudos to you for using the word lain. Lie vs. lay is hard enough, but past participle? I gots to look that **** up EVERY time.
Nice work!
ur hilarious
I don’t know why people say that working out wakes you up. If I work out on any given day, I’m in bed by 9:30. I think people are lying to me.
I also am a 5:00 am runner and I have to tell you I think I am getting less in shape. I am always jumping back in bed with the finace before I leave for work and then I don’t want to go to work because I have fallen asleep again. I just want to know how tired a body has to be to fall asleep 10 min after a 150+ heart rate.
I stumbled across your blog last week and after reading a couple recent entries and finding myself asking “Who is she talking about? And how did she get to this place?” I started reading your archives from the very beginning. I’m currently at Christmas 2003 and I just wanted to share a kinship I feel with what you and me and just about every other twenty something has gone through – discovering the world isn’t necessarily or rarely ever “what it’s supposed to be”. There were ideas I grew up with… of expectations I had of what life is supposed to be about… that now as a 31 year old I’ve learned to let go of and just find my happiness – not what makes my family or anyone else happy – but what makes my “inner goddess” feel that satisfaction that only I know (And if that involves copious amounts of THC that’s my business!). Looking forward to continuing your story!
Good luck on the Relay! My sister and I will be runing the full marathon.
Kudos Fish…. in fact, Kudos to ANYONE and EVERYONE who can motivate themselves that early in the day! I use to be able to do that…on my way to the gym but, recent health issues set me back and have kept me from such great activities and surprisingly, (to me…and those who know me) I actually miss it.
Keep it up, Fish!
You’re marvelous, Dah-ling!
I have insomnia; he visits me often and I hate him. You’re better than me; I didn’t work out today and I didn’t sleep a wink last night.
haha i did that once. went out for a run late, came back, sat down to drink some water, the next thing I knew, it was like 2 am. I was like, what happened?!
I read this just in time. Started working out daily just last week, and am already losing momentum. Was feeling utterly lazy today, but am going to do my 20 minute jog now. Knowing it’s as hard for everyone else helps. Sometimes I wonder just HOW anyone can love torturing themselves, as for me it’s just that :-p Thanks
If I were ever in a pageant, my talent would be rationalization.
That’s the best line I’ve ever read in a blog.
Ever.
And I’ve been reading blogs for a VERY long time.
If I were ever in a pageant, my talent would be rationalization.
This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read in a blog. EVER.
Speaking of nature, hope that the storm leaves you well in its wake…
I love this! I want to shoot myself when my alarm goes off. Even if I’m not working out in the morning!
Yesterday my friend said, “Are you going to want to go running at 1P?” to which I responeded, “Do I EVER want to go?”.
“If you stay home you can shave my armpits.”
My love, Claire, keeps trying to convince me that we need to change our marathon training to the morning…like 430am…so we can do the 10 mile run BEFORE work…like hell.
It is bad enough I have to trudge around at night, showing the world why 6’5 guys were not made to run distance, but the thought of doing it at 430am is more painful that the last bout of shin-splints.