growing pains

Even with the rattling winds and persistent rain, Saturday’s storm was much less of a to-do than the weather people had prepared us for. Still, the startling beauty of yesterday morning seemed so out of place, it was almost… garish, in contrast. Kind of like watching a luxury car drive through a bad neighborhood. Bright sun, intensely blue, cloud-streaked sky. It was stunning. Up with the sun, I went for a jog and with that sun on my shoulders and a nice breeze, it felt good. Really good. But what felt even better was going home, opening all the windows and shutting off the AC. Plunk! Plunk! I could actually hear the coins dropping into my imaginary piggy bank. I’m hardcore pining for the days when it will be in the off position on an extended basis and my electricity bill will drop by two-thirds. Baby is on a budget.

Actually, baby is in the process of preparing a new! now with 60% more realism! budget. It’s a lot less fun than it sounds. Strangely. Things were tighter than I’d thought, and for the past few months I’ve been unconsciously living a tad bit beyond my means. That’s like being a tad bit too fat for your low rise jeans. Un. Comfortable. Believe me, I know.

Good thing isn’t any room in the new budget for beer. Because there certainly isn’t any room for new jeans. 

21 comments to growing pains

  • perhaps not coincidentally, boxed wine is 60% cheaper than bottled wine! plus, since boxed wine is meant to be drunk alone, that’s like 100% less sharing! plus! it makes you 200% more likely to realize ‘pants’ are an unnecessary human construct! that’s like 360% savings!

    why, yes. yes i do manage budgets for a living.

  • jamie

    Boy are we on the same page. As a grad student I get my last paycheck for the year in May and the next one doesn’t come until September. You might think as a hyper-organized, super-left-brained kind of person, I’d be able to budget effectively and make the necessary adjustments… except when there’s not much there to begin with, making it stretch is even harder. Let’s just say I was counting the seconds until my September check arrived this year, and when it did, I promptly opened a spreadsheet and vowed to stay within a budget(and promptly realized I have already spent the entire fall wardrobe portion of said budget).

  • Brandon,

    With all due respect to your sweet, sweet wife, I love you deeply and without shame.

  • Brandon! Are you available?! I mean, not necessarily to date, but just to hang out with and help me justify things with math? I mean, I usually just say “I’ll eat this truffle because I WANT TO!” But I think this tricky math stuff’s way better.

  • CaliGal

    I hear ya, Fish! Can’t wait for the fall weather. In fact, it can’t get here soon enough!

    I tried to budget once…. but I ran out of money. ;)

    “The universe is abundant. All my needs are met.”

  • Serial, if you’re for real, then I can help you make rational math decisions about truffles (or my favorite, pi) that will make a difference in your life and multiply your happiness.

    Plus, I’m discrete.

  • Danielle Gorman

    I feel your pain… one degree and 35,000 worth of student loans isn’t enough for this girl, I decided to go back and take my courses to be a CA which is a CPA in the US. I work fulltime and it gives me just enough to get by and pay school with out more debt. Since I have read your enitre blog, I think you are better off then some of us. I can’t make a budget and stick to it for the life of me and that’s coming from the girl that wants to be an accountant.

  • I’m from Ohio but I’ve lived in LA for six years now and reading this blog reminded me of how much I miss a good soothing downpour that appeases the summer heat.

    Also, I’m guilty of not budgeting properly … my sister teases me that I live like an heiress — but I think I just have faith in myself, that eventually the dollars will follow the passion.

  • Crystal in MA

    Oh hun, there is ALWAYS room in a budget for beer….

  • Beth

    Good luck on the budget, Heather! Also, if, say a big magazine’s Web site wanted to interview you about your beauty routine (because you know your fans want to know), how would one get in touch with you? I put in a rarely used email address I’ll be checking over the next few days that you can get to me through if you’re comfortable using it. I’d love to discuss. I can promise you free beauty loot in exchange.

  • Anonymous

    Beth,

    My message to the email address you left failed. You can reach me at thisfish at gmail dot com.

  • gbs

    Fish,

    Most will regard what follows as utter blasphemy, but it worked so well for us I thought I’d share: Forgoing cable TV has worked really well for our budget, AND we suddenly have many extra hours each week. (Since I just watched months of TV while fat and pregnant, the extra time helps me do other things now like get exercise, eat healthily, and play with the bebeh.)

    There was definite withdrawal at first, but the surprising effect is that we’re all happier now… I guess having extra hours does a lot for contentment?

    Anyway, I thought I’d share– although I look forward to one day setting up a kick-ass “entertainment center,” (doesn’t that sound more… interactive… than it really is?) our TVectomy experiment has been fabulous so far.

  • Beth

    That’s because I’m an idiot and put the wrong email address in. will email you right now!

  • Kelly

    I’m with you, Fish! I always seem to spend more money in the summer…too many nights out to dinner and late nights on some bar patio! With the fall and the cooler temps, I’m also hoping to create “a new! now with 60% more realism! budget”…

    Why couldn’t we have been born independently wealthy rather than beautiful??? sigh…

  • ATLgirl

    “Why couldn’t we have been born independently wealthy rather than beautiful??? sigh…”

    Or both?

    As a starving art college student, I know about the slimmer budgets. why do artsy pple, who can’t do math, seem to need a budget the most? For a while my boyfriend was supplying weekly meals until he announced he need to cut back as well. But, its made me actually cook real food instead of processed food. saddest part is no room for chocolate in this girl’s budget!

  • lj

    my budget usually holds until I meet the shoes that promise to make me the exciting, witty, cosmopolitan woman I know I am supposed to be…but really, who can put a price on that!?!

  • Bridget

    I saw a segment on ABC news tonight about English men who grow vegetables, hunt, fish, etc., and trade it for beer at a local bar.

    Perhaps they’re on to something..

  • Oh my god, Brandon’s math jokes are making me so sweaty that I forgot my comment.

  • R.

    I find it interesting that you frequently mention your jeans and allude to the fact that you’ve “maximized” the available space in those very jeans.

    I say this cuz I’m 100% sure you look fine, in fact, probably much better than “just fine” in those jeans.

    And that brings me to a disturbing, yet interesting phenomenon that most men look in the mirror, and for some odd reason, have a much higher opinion of themselves than what is actually true, yet when women look into that same mirror, they assume a much lower opinion of themselves than what is actually true.

    And I’m a guy.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. Sometimes the most interesting feature(s)or characteristic(s) of a person can’t been seen in a mirror.

  • Anonymous

    I’m a pretty realistic gal. But over the summer, I have gained 12 pounds of laziness right on my ass. Twelve pounds is substantial enough to equals two sizes in jeans.