Oh, Universe, you contrary little snipe.
Today after work, we’re going to pick up the Boy’s car from the mechanic. It’s the transmission. And when I say that, you should automatically be translating each letter of that word into dollar signs. Transmissions on sports cars are – even under the best circumstances, with an honest mechanic (which we’re lucky to have) – asspensive. So when the Dork Lord called me at work yesterday afternoon to let me know they were also forced to replace the clutch and fly wheel (the mechanic offered to it it labor-free), I hung up the phone and started crying.
Twenty-two hundred dollars, all told. We were both so discouraged, we – us, who joke inappropriately through everything – lost our sense of humor about it.
See, today, I have an appointment with a jeweler to look at rings. Only, ha ha, now that we have zero dollars and six cents between us, that’s sure going to make buying one impossible. But I’ve decided I don’t care. I’m going anyway. We’ll make it work. The Dork Lord, after a long, honest conversation about how much it means to me, says it’s his priority to put a ring on my finger and I believe him. We’ll consider this a fact-finding mission. Besides, I’ve put my foot down about a few things – one being the financial burden of engagement falling to him. Our relationship. Our future. My ring. Why should he cough up all the cash? Phooey on Man Pride, I simply don’t believe in it.
This isn’t 1946. An engagement ring isn’t the price he pays to guard against the event he steals my virtue and runs off, leaving me without prospects. We all know my virtue’s been gone a long ole time. Ahem. We’re hardly what you’d call traditional, anyway. We’ve been shacked up since month three of our relationship. Again, virtue? What virtue? I’m tainted. Thank heavens.
Speaking of… once, at BYU, my sister and I were sitting in church, irreverently mocking the sermon as we were known to do, and whoever was at the podium started in on that verse of scripture about a virtuous woman. You know, whose worth is above that of rubies or someshit? With an eye roll, I scribbled on a piece of paper and passed the note to my sister. Just the other day, I found it in a pile of mementos and laughed.
Who can find a virtuous woman?
For she is boring as hell
and I don’t want her for a roommate.
That explains so much about me.
Hooray for fact finding missions! And good for you – most women end up paying for the ring on the back end anyway. Once there’s a wedding and finances are merged (or vice versa as in my situation!), it’s pretty hard to avoid.
a) there are all kinds of virtue b) i love the term “shacking up” c) boo for replaced flywheels, etal. d) YAY for rings!!!
After looking in person to find what you are looking for – try Bluenile.com – their prices are good and their customer service is fantastic!
Thanks! I’m actually meeting with a wholesaler, whose prices I’ve yet to see beat anywhere else.
This is such great news! Not the car, obviously. I am so happy that you were able to continue the conversation and he was willing to listen and you both came to a solution that you are happy with. Yea Fish and Boy!
The way you write makes me LOL at my desk!
Just sayin….
Oh and congrats on taking the next step & looking at rings! Sorry to hear about the transmission troubles. I am in the same boat – my VW Beetle is jerking me all over while I’m driving & I know that any second now, that transmission is going to crap the bed on me. Luckily, I too have an honest mechanic (he’s our best friend!) & he does everything for us labor free. Doesn’t matter tho, still super expensive. Damn cars!!
hooray! i didn’t get my ring for four months after our jeweler appointment… but after waiting so many years to even make it to the jeweler, I was good for awhile!
“This isn’t 1946. An engagement ring isn’t the price he pays to guard against the event he steals my virtue and runs off, leaving me without prospects.”
Love that. Glad to hear you’re working through what comes. You’ll get there. Together.
I have been reading FOREVER.
I have finally decided to comment because I HAVE to tell you how much I admire you.
You are Wonder Woman.
Awesome news, SO happy for you both.
Ouch!! Stinks, don’t it? (I took my car in for an oil change last Saturday. Cost me over $1000 when all was said and done. Ugh!)
But YEAH!!
A RING! A RING!
FOR SURE IT’S A WONDERFUL THING!!
So happy for you both!
So exciting!
So romantic!
(Wow, I’m feeling so girly-girl right now! lol Thanks Fish!)
Enjoy your time shopping!
Fear not, for all will be well.
Carpe Diem Babe!
I wish we could take up a Paypal collection towards your ring. Or you can sell those Fish shirts again for a mark-up.
Hey Margaret, if her paypal button still works, she put one here:
http://thisfish.ivillage.com/love/archives/2009/10/answers—the-2009-edition.html
That’s kinda a cool idea. Not exactly Haiti relief, but I likes it.
That is wonderful news that you two are ready to take the next step. But, you could get married without a ring, no? I understand the tradition, I do, but I married the love of my life 2 months ago with a $500 wedding ring, no engagement ring, and it really didn’t matter one bit. His ring was $150. And we are fortunate enough that we could afford a big sparkly ring, but we decided against it. It is a personal decision for sure, but just think about it.
Fish,
Does the PayPal still work? Wanted to double check before I entered in any important numbers. Won’t be alot but hoping it will bring some good karma for this single gal. You and the DL met through the blog right? Only fitting the blog helps y’all along.
Congrat!
I LOVE my ring and I know my husband got it online. He won’t tell me where, but I do know he paid about half the value, so it was a good deal. We also saved money by not having a wedding band, too. I think if you get an “interesting” ring design, you can get by without the band.
Agreed on the Paypal thing! I was going to try and find the link to post it on here for all your readers-
We can all call it a hefty Tip for making us think, feel, laugh and commiserate with your posts. I’d way rather tip you than some of the grumpies I come into contact with anyday as well. And heck, I enjoy your posts way better than some greasy spoon and bad cup of coffee anyday. So please don’t feel funny about it – it’s just something we want to do.
Put it towards the car or the ring – either way, you both derserve it.
Hugs from Vancouver.
Hmm, not sure if my comment went through –
Just wanted to say that I wanted to re-post the link you had in an earlier post, but see someone already has – just wanted to let you know that I hope you don’t feel weird about it, but I will be sending through a little something via PayPal. We’re so lucky in our ‘non virtual-world’ lives, in that we can regularly tip the people that move us – whether it’s musicians busking on the street, or the coffee girl that made us smile, or other – and your words move me more than any of these. Thanks for the laughs, the sometimes tears, and for making us feel.
Use it toward the car, or a ring – either way, you both deserve it.
YAY! A RING!!!! So happy for you!!!!
I paid for half of mine, too. We already had a joint bank account already anyway and we totally could not afford a ring, either. We made it work. Scrimped and saved and basically took months to pay for it, but we made it work and you guys will too!!
If you’re looking to save some cash and seeing as how you’re not traditional, maybe look at sapphires or other hard colored stones…you’ll save a bundle! I have a pink sapphire (I’m not into diamonds at all) and it cost a FRACTION of what most people spend on rings. Good luck! I am so excited to hear about your shopping excursion!
That stinks about the car repairs…life has a strange sense of humor.
Good for you on going to look at rings anyway. Research is good.
And virtue is for those who lack creativity.
Yes, it does still work, loverly! And thank you for the kind wishes!
Heather
Yay for looking at rings. Even if you aren’t able to buy one immediately at least things are moving forward in the direction of your future. Also, have you considered an estate ring? There are some lovely, vintage rings out there in a variety of price ranges and your money won’t go to the dubious diamond trade. Just saying…
Heather,
I loved receiving your personal ‘thank you’ the last time I used your PayPal….but wanted to tell you as much as I liked getting my very own note,I felt bad that you spent so much on cards and postage. You can thank us on your blog…honestly, we’ll all be just as happy! (leaves more towards whatever you choose to spend it on!)
Congrats! And I second Cori and Becky – avoid the diamonds. Non-diamonds are cheaper, and even those companies who claim they’re “conflict-free” contribute immensely to the poverty and unstable political environment in Africa.
=( for the car repair stuff but =) for the ring shopping!!! I’m happy that the two of you were able to resolve the ring issue. Ring shopping can be a bit overwhelming! I’m lucky to have a friend to manages a jewelery department. She helped me select the perfect ring and she gave us a HUGE discount. Good luck!
Well, rings are cheap. If he wants to be the buyer of the ring, I get that. But who says it has to be an expensive ring? He can get a cheap one that’s still pretty and full of character, my husband’s and my wedding rings cost 15.00 a piece. They are celtic design and kick azz. We get a lot of compliments and they’re so pretty we wear two, one on each hand and joke that we’re doubly married.
Life is happening NOW. It’s priceless, and rings the symbol of union shouldn’t be stressful.
My hubby of a little less than two months and I just got a quote for a $4200 replacement engine. I feel your pain. Plus $2000. Yuck….
I hope you have an AMAZING time ring shopping! Very happy for you.
Did you ever think about getting a nontraditional stone? They are less expensive and soo much more amazing. I actually was proposed to with a beautiful pearl ring that is stunning. Plus there is no worry about conflict diamonds and the like.
Good for you! Keep your chin up. And yes, if he were to pay for the ring, you still would be paying for the ring too somehow – be it by making payments, or by having less money in savings.
I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. Got me through some personal heartbreaks of my own. Sometimes it’s comforting to know that one is not alone. And some posts made me laugh so much that it just made whatever ache was in my heart go away. With that said, I’m so happy for you and DL! Congratulations!!!
You.
ROCK!
And not the gemstone-kind, the 12 encore, stage-diving, fist-pumping,sing-along-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, hugging (or snogging)-random-strangers, best-freakin’-night-of-our-lives kind.
I’ve been reading you for a couple of years. You ARE virtuous.
Main Entry: virtue
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: honor, integrity
Synonyms:advantage, asset, character, charity, chastity, consideration, credit, ethic, ethicality, ethicalness, excellence, faith, faithfulness, fineness, fortitude, generosity, good point, goodness, high-mindedness, hope, ideal, incorruptibility, innocence, justice, kindness, love, merit, morality, plus*, probity, prudence, purity, quality, rectitude, respectability, righteousness, temper, temperance, trustworthiness, uprightness, value, worth, worthiness
The ring is a funny thing.
I am an unromantic. No frills, no make-up kinda girl. Practical through and through. And then…as engagement unfurled, I found myself pining for shiny bling. Big bling. Not obscenely big. But big enough to bring the money issue to the table and weigh all the sides: it’s just a ring! it’s just a rock! who cares? you’re gonna wear 3 months pay on your stupid finger? he’s gonna make how many payments for how long for the stupid rock? You can’t afford this! HE can’t afford this! And so the voices in my head went on and on.
Now, 2 years later, I look down on that stupid finger and you know what? I still smile. For the record, he’s still making payments (he stretched it out for smaller payments).
This isn’t a lesson in selfishness or stupidity or the marketing genius of De Beers. It’s just my story. Grew up never wanting anything girly whatsoever. No fancy clothes, fancy wedding, fancy car, nada. But my heart fluttered when I saw the ring.
Don’t deny yourself (within reasonable payment plan + interest) Fish. And CONGRATS!
After buying our second home together I was finally able to convice Derek that the money was just the money. We didn’t have to keep it seperate and thus we entered the world of joint bank accounts. You have already done that, the money is just the money. You’re not hung up on how much the Dork Lord’s car repairs will cost him but rather how much they will cost the both of you. I completely agree with your approach on the ring. We did go traditional enough in that Derek picked the ring (we have similar tastes so there was no worry on this point). I do not know what it cost but I do know I have contributed to it through various payments on the line of credit. Hoorah for non traditional!
Having just gone through this myself (I wrote about it here, rings are such a totally personal choice… and lots of fun to choose! I was originally against receiving an engagement ring (it didn’t seem fair to me that I got one and he didn’t – a twist on your feeling like the Dork Lord shouldn’t have to bear the burden of the cost of yours), but he insisted, and now have a very beautiful personal ring (with the diamond from my grandmother’s engagement ring).
One thing (which you may have already thought of) is to choose some less expensive than a traditional ring to wear for now (my friend wore a beautiful wood band during their engagement and just wears her wedding ring solo), and then if you want something more standard, maybe it could be an anniversary gift down the road.
Congratulations Heather!!! But sorry about the horrible car bill.
What about antique jewelry? I often browse the lovely catalogue at http://www.fellows.co.uk/Departments/Jewellery.asp
… all wishful thinking on my part as I have neither the money or the engagement, but boy are they pretty.
Hey, I wanted to chime in with congratulations on the impending ring, and condolences on the car repair.
Admittedly, I am one of those “traditional” guys who did get the ring with the diamond thing. Well, I did the non-traditional thing by going to Israel where they cut half the world’s diamonds, and bought one there four years before I even met my wife (and I wasn’t dating anyone else at the time, either). But hey, don’t bankrupt yourself (or the Dork Lord) for it. Also, take it from one who knows: There’s nothing like planning a wedding to make you understand why people elope!
The car repair thing can lead to an interesting discussion of money management. Something tells me that you are intelligent people who have already thought about this kind of thing, but make sure you guys understand money management and share financial goals. Young love can be fun, but the serious money stuff is a true test of a relationship. Maybe take a good hard look at what you REALLY need, and what is not necessary for survival here. Yeah, BORING, I know!
With the car, think about how much maintenance is costing you. If you are paying just as much on repair as you would be on a new one, you might as well get the new one. Just saying.
All the best, and keep up the good work.
Dude, rings are SO expensive! Kudos on being realistic about it and not expecting the Dork Lord to pay for it himself.
Hey Fish –
You should check out Nexus Diamond Labs (wwww.diamondnexuslabs.com). They’re lab-created diamonds, but apparently they are 100% the same as a mined diamond – only loads cheaper (and conflict free!) They’re on my list to seriously consider, should I ever be lucky enough to have a ring on that finger.
Best of luck to you and DL!! So happy for your happiness, money troubles aside.
It’s wonderful that you were able to talk to the DL about how important it is to you to be moving forward in the relationship and the fact that he listened and understood just goes to show he is a quality guy. Unless the engagement ring is really super important to you, I would second the suggestion of going with out it and skipping straight to wedding planning. If you think about it, every dollar you spend on a ring is just pushing your wedding date that much farther out (if you’re paying for it yourselves, that is). I intended to go without an engagement ring, but my husband surprised me. It is very pretty and I do love it, but a lot of the time, I only wear my wedding band because it’s more comfortable because it sits flat on my finger and I feel silly putting on a diamond ring in the morning when I’m just going to the dog park. Just something to think about.
Did you happen to see Post Secret this week? There was a secret on there from a woman who has started a blog about being a fake Mormon..http://makebelievemormon.blogspot.com/ Made me think of you (not that you are/were a fake Mormon, just about being distracted in church, she writes about one time she got distracted in church, as well, and relates it to monkeys grooming each other!)
I feel the same way about that verse. People use it waaay too much!
you know, I think that there is something really sweet about having a sort of ‘starter’ ring. Right now, when you are young and broke, buy something simple and small, but lovely. My husband and I got engaged while I was still in college and I LOVED my ring, but quite frankly, it wasn’t anything special. For the wedding, I didn’t get a separate wedding band since we couldn’t really afford it and that didn’t bother me as I felt like we had better things to spend money on. A few years after we were married, he bought me a beautiful band with diamonds which I happily added to the ring I was already wearing. We had been married almost 10 years and I was pregnant with my second baby girl when I mentioned to my husband that I would love for him to pick out a small piece of jewelry to give me at the birth, something that I could pass on to her when she was grown. I was thinking just a nice pendant on a chain. I was shocked when just after the birth, he gave me an amazing 4 carat diamond ring to celebrate the baby and 10 years of marriage, but also to replace the original ring that he had stopped liking so much! He had been putting money aside and thinking about it for ages, and it all just came together at a good time. Its perfect since I have two daughers and now they each will have something special.
Heather,
I believe in virtuous women. I just happen to believe that chastity before marriage is not the measure of a virtuous woman. Virtue, to my mind, comes with character, a sense of rightousness, committment to one’s chosen partner (if any), committment to rightous causes, and a “little bit of looking out for the other guy” (paraphrased or quoted from “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington).
Cheers
Alan
Heather, I am filled with empathy but also delighted as all hell that the DL has so much love for you that what matters to you matters to him, and that you have so much love for him that you truly want to do things as a team. THAT is what makes a relationship last. Much love to you both.
When my husband proposed, we were broke college students and he was lucky enough to be able to use his grandmother’s beautiful, vintage diamond. However, we couldn’t afford expensive wedding bands, so a couple of years ago when we could afford it, I bought myself a flashy diamond wedding band to match the engagement ring. But I never really liked it as well as my simple gold band, so today I have the original band in my purse and I am taking it back to the jeweler to have the flashy one replaced with it. I guess my point is that the cost of the ring doesn’t really matter. I wasted thousands on the second band when I should have stuck with the sentimentality of the first one.
Aw, see, Rebecca, I’m with you there on sentimentality. I don’t want a “starter” ring. I want a ring I will never, ever take off (except probs when pregnancy makes me fat fingered). I don’t need a big fat diamond, probably ever. But we’ll see – maybe one day when money isn’t an issue I’ll get some bling.
transmission: bummer.
Glad you have an honest mechanic though.
rings: sam’s club I’m not kidding. You get much more for your money there and I honestly couldn’t be happier with mine. If you don’t see what you like there, we had good luck with an independant jeweler for my band. Thus concludes my knowledge of jewelery. :0)
We got engaged while we were both still in college, and I think my engagement ring and wedding band together cost less than $600. They’re nothing super-flashy, but they mean the world to me because my husband took a job that he *hate-hate-hated* in order to make the money to buy them. Now that we’ve been married for almost eleven years he thinks the stones are too small, but I love them. I’ve told him over and over that even if we somehow became katrillionaires I wouldn’t replace my ring.
That’s so exciting! Ring shopping on bluenile is a fun time. I am also glad to see you don’t want a starter ring. I have a friend who six years into her relationship has five rings. That’s not a typo, 5 different rings. I can’t understand that.
One piece of advice if you care to listen. Get very good insurance for it. My friend, who is sentimental, lost her ring while she was tubing on a lake. She felt them slip off and made a fist fast enough to catch the wedding band, but lost the engagement ring. Turns out her insurance policy did not cover mysterious disappearances. They covered her if her house was broken into or if the diamond fell out, but would not cover her in that situation. In the end she didnt want her husband to replace it anyways because it wouldnt have the same meaning, but was a tough lesson to learn.
Sorry about the car thing! EWWWW
But it is great to hear about the heart to heart and that you are going ring shopping. Heather, I have an absolutely beautiful (at least IMO)ring that I would give you. It brought many years of happiness to the person who wore it. It needs to be worn by someone who is in love and believes in forever like the previous owner, not stuck in someone’s jewlery box. I am not the person who should have possession of this ring!
Congrats, I just know it will all work out for you and the boy!
Ha. Haven’t been to your site in years, and you still make me laugh. Good luck with the money-shmoney. And I agree, it isn’t 1946. Man Pride? Who cares.
Haha… my mother called my sister and I irreverent when we were in church too… Actually the only time i have heard her use that word is when describing us in church….
Yeay for you! Your ring shopping gives me hope. You’ll get there, car issues or not.
I kind of wish I would have gotten a really thin diamond band instead of a solitaire with a diamond band. It would have been thousands less expensive and different.
Long time reader. Even longer time friend. Thought you would maybe have been smart enough to realize that engagement rings are a total farce, a waste of money and time, and a total marketing ploy by the diamond companies. The big sparkly ring has been something little girls have now been conditioned to expect. But then again, you’ve always been a bit of a princess…
Love is not measured in carats. It cannot be weighed in gold or platinum. It is measured in commitment and devotion. It is measured in the small, daily moments that show intimacy, caring and tenderness.
When you come to the end, what will matter? How sparkly a trinket was at the beginning? Or how much all the love from then until now will have accumulated?
Save the money. Skip the ring. Fix the car. Trust in the love. It is that, and not something sparkly, that will truly mean something. It is that which will endure.
Congratulations.
Oh, Anonymous, I doubt very much that we are friends. In what universe would I ever choose to be friends with someone who would be so quick to consider me an emotional cripple and an entitled princess? None. Obviously you aren’t much of a reader, either, or you’d have caught the parts where I said I had no desire to buy into the big ole diamond lie. That I want a ring – a simple band, if you’ve been paying attention – does not make me unintelligent. And I won’t apologize for wanting it.
Save your congratulations. Put it where you keep your smug condescension.
You can be a really snotty bitch. That person was trying to be nice. Talk about smug. Rings mean nothing.
No, no they weren’t. They were insulting.
And rings mean lots of things to lots of people.
Dear Bitter Jealous A$$hole With An Empty Life Who Leaves Bitter Little Comments;
Say what you have to say with your name attached.
Or just assume we all ASSUME that you’re a bitter, tiny dicked ex who lost his chance with Heather and is just trying to stir up Shit. Because honestly, unless you’re a girl who never expects to get a ring, no one else would be that mean and petty and completely transparent.
I hope you live a long life. All alone. As you deserve it.
Elana (look! I was mean AND I left my name. How fcuking novel!)
Ha! I was just thinking the same thing.. wow, jealous ex-bf/no-chancer has to *try* to ruin excitement! You’re amazing and wonderfully intelligent Heather! Congrats!
Dear Anonymous:
Your criticisms speak volumes about your own drab childhood. I’m sorry for that.
It takes selflessness to be happy for someone else minus your 2cents about their life. And if you can’t be happy without spraying your bile everywhere, then don’t read the “princess’s” blog.
I’m sorry all your real friends have gone by the wayside because of your constant criticisms and negative (disguised as “realistic” and “practical”) attitude which most likely leaves you with no choice but to scour blogs for friends.
But the same rules apply in the cyberworld, too. Be nice. Or leave.
Huzzah, Fish! Chuffed for you and the Dork Lord.
Have you checked out etsy.com for rings? They have all sorts of lovely things in general. (Which are often less expensive – and less conventional – than commercial clothes/jewelry/tchochkes.) Also, most artists/designers are happy to do bespoke orders if you have something specific in mind.
I understand about wanting to have your wedding ring be THE RING that you never take off for your whole life. That is very sentimental and sweet. But I also think that your wedding day is likely to be only one of many wonderful days that you will want to celebrate and remember. The day your first baby is born? Your 10th anniversary? 25? 50? What I mean is that it makes sense to pay a reasonable amount for your budget right now for a ring (that you will love no matter what it looks like because of the reason you are wearing it) and then if down the road you find yourself wanting a ring that is a bit more shiny, use the opportunity of another important celebration to buy something else.
Unbeknownst to me, husband had been looking at diamond rings that cost upward of $6k and he dutifully made sure they were “conflict free” as I’d ranted and raved about how I wanted nothing to do with the cruelty of diamonds, ever.
Browsing through Etsy one day, I just happened to come across a gorgeous antique man-made ruby ring that cost $250. I loved it. I sent him the link and said if you ever got me a ring, that’s what I’d want. Best of all, it was man made so I didn’t have to worry about where it came from.
He asked if I was serious because he thought SURELY when a woman says “don’t get me a diamond,” she doesn’t mean it.
Anyway. He believed me, contacted the seller, I got my inexpensive man made ruby and we spent money on a nice hotel & expensive dinner when we eloped, instead!
Your ring is YOUR business and someone hit the nail on the head when they said “rings mean lots of things to lots of people.”
So happy for you! Congrats to you and your Dork Lord.
Heather, my heart goes out to you. I’ve got a few rings in my safe deposit box. I would give one to you if you would have it. I have an engagement ring that I paid 1/2 for many years ago, that I designed. Ultimately we didn’t get married but I still have that diamond ring. And I have one that my current husband and I bought in New Orleans at an antique store… very Victorian. I don’t use it for my wedding ring as we elected to use my (long deceased) mother’s ring set from 1952. I love my rings which make me think of my mother. I have another Celtic wedding ring (diamond and emerald) from James Avery. It was from my 1st marriage which was a bad idea from the start. I love my hubby and we’ll celebrate 9 years married on 9/15/2010. Yes we got married 4 days after 9/11. And flew to Hawaii a few days later some of the brave souls to fly to Hawaii after 9/11. Maybe your mom has your grandmother’s rings in a safe deposit box or the Dork Lords mom has his grandmother’s rings. A family treasure is a nice ring too!
I did not know that the ring was supposed to be for insurance against besmirched virtue! I thought it was evidence of the man’s ability to take care of his wife financially, but I like that interpretation!
(That is probably because I was born a lot closer to 1946 than you…..not that that’s a bad thing…..)
Hope that this year brings you all that you wish for yourself and for the DL.
I’ve enjoyed reading your work for several years, now, and I think that this may be the happiest I’ve “seen” you to be. This is good!! 
I know that you’ve gotten tons of suggestions from all of the folks for non-traditional rings, but on a thought I figured I’d throw out one more, conflict-free option. Diamonique from QVC. I have a couple of rings from there and I’ve fooled more than one folk with them (I do always correct them though). They have absolutely beautiful looking jewelry and at a fraction of the price of something real.
While that sucks about the car, I am sooo super impressed – though I know I shouldn’t be – that the DL stepped up instead if sticking with his Man Pride. Your man is a real man and, for that, I am truly jealous! Congratulations