Tomorrow afternoon, I have an appointment with the dentist.
I have not been flossing.
If you’re new here, I should probably let you in on a little secret: I’m the kind of girl who will take a bad report at the dentist… poorly. At this point, though – pair years of no dentist visits with those seriously lackadaisical flossing habits – it’s highly unlikely I’m going to receive any of that glowing praise my inner Type A craves. And it’s giving me a stomach knot.
I need affirmation.
Historically(and I’m knocking on all sorts of wood laminate surfaces as I type this), I have had really, really nice teeth. Not Davy Jones’ movie star *ping!* teeth, but stain free, cavity free, hard as rock teeth. They’re pretty straight and pretty white and they never, ever hurt (except when they do, and it’s not my fault). I recognize that doesn’t mean squat when it comes to all the things that can go wrong with a person’s teeth especially when they’ve neglected approximately nine regular cleanings.
I have a feeling I’m in for a rude, rude awakening.
I’d blame my hiatus on the lack of dental insurance, but then you’ll say, “But it’s your teeth! Aren’t they worth the money? You only get one set! Unless you are a shark!” and you’ll be right. The truth of the matter is, I just hate it. Even the sounds in a dentist’s office make my mouth sweat and my stomach flip – forget what happens when he pulls out that shiny pick and starts scraping and poking. And the smell. Dear god. All this before they give you a bad grade for hating to floss! It’s really more than I can bear.
It’s going to take all my powers of grown up responsibility just to get me to that office tomorrow. And then what’s going to stop me from crying and/or ralphing? Nada.
Just now, while I was filling out the New Patient Form, I got to the question about allergies and sensitivities. I hesitated, my pen hovering over the page for a minute before I wrote, in my nicest penmanship,
Allergies:
- None
Sensitivities:
- Latex
- Sodium Laurel Sulfate
- Criticism
They can’t say I didn’t warn ‘em.
Allergic to criticism. I am SO using that in the future.
I just came from the endodontist, where they told me that something is wrong with the tooth they root canaled in December and they need to “go back in” next week.
I’d be lying if I said a tear or two didn’t fall down my cheek on my drive home.
Ughhh I hear ya! When I finally forced myself to go back to the dentist (after about 2 years of neglect), I actually burst into tears once I got into the office – but since then, for the first time in my life, I’ve been okay with going (not looking forward to my visits by any means, but okay with it). So weird!
Oh, please can I use that the next time I have to fill out a form at a doctor’s/dentist’s office?? That’s just awesome, that’s all.
I just went for a cleaning today.
I got an A, however they did tell me that where my wisdom teeth once stood (sat?) I had a “suspicious” spot they want to keep an eye on. So not my fault!
Awww! I wish I could put that last one on my permanent work record – but they probably already know….
Hope all goes well, and that you get an A+ (or at least a B).
I’m getting a root canal tomorrow afternoon. Not my first. I used to floss for a week before a trip to the dentist, but then I found out they can TELL who does that and who flosses all the time. I have finally resigned myself to the semi-annual kind-but-firm comment about how I must floss every day. And when I decided to just be my unflossed self, in all my unflossed glory at the dentist, it was liberating!
Just nod and sigh that you understand when they give you the lecture. They’re not the boss of you!
My hygienist is a fan of those scrubbie-pick things instead of flossing and/or the floss picks. They’re flexible and they don’t hurt.
I started using them in the car on my commute and am hoping that she notices when she sees me in a month. (I am really good about flossing for about a month, then I fall off the wagon.)
Fingers crossed for you!
p.s. I love how it says, “Your comment is awaiting moderation,” like I was being wild and unrestrained in my commenting.
Thanks for the laugh!
I didn’t go for several years because of lack of insurance and lack of cash to pay for the cleaning. When I finally went back, my teeth were fine, fine, fine. BUT I remembered as soon as I lay back in the chair how much I hated going to the dentist. It HURTS! plus the “pillow” on the chair always hurts the back of my head, plus the sounds and the lights and the masks and and and.
Anyway, it was not my finest hour, but I actually bit the hygienist. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until she said, “Please open your mouth, open up! Move your teeth!” whoops. They switched me to a different hygienist after that and it’s been bearable. (and no more biting from me)
Hehe! Did you really write ‘criticism’?
Oh, yes, I really did. I mean, worth a shot, right?
Just my 2 cents based on past experience because although I LOVE my dentist (very easy on the eyes!) and hygenist as people, I certainly do not get excited or look forward to my appointments.
I found my current & prior dentist by asking around all my friends when I moved & needed to find a new one. Also, you’re so not they only one in this boat. You might consider telling them about your habits & feelings about going. If you’re honest about it, you may be able to find some solutions together?
As far as flossing, I am with you on that one, just can’t seem to get in the groove, but I am working to make it part of my routine. And I’ve heard too that the floss pick things do make it so much easier. My dentist told me that even if you can floss regularly a few times a week, it makes a big difference. Think I will take my own advice on that one.
Good luck!!
So, so funny. LOVE IT!
At least you’ll make the office ladies at the dentist’s office smile (unless it’s office gentlemen. I suppose this happens, but at all of my DO’s ever, it’s a bunch of ladies.
Also, flossing is like anything else good for you. You have to get addicted to it. Like working out, or brushing, you have to do it to the point that it feels weird when you don’t.
I don’t know if you’ve tried the floss picks, but for me of the small mouth (physically, certainly not metaphorically!) and someone who chronically NEVER flossed, those made a huge difference.
And I wish desperately there was a place to broadcast “sensitive to criticism” in all areas of my life.
I, too, hate & fear dental care. I fear it so much that I go for routine cleanings 4x a year and floss daily. Marge is my hygienist, and she understands me. She makes sure a full hour is booked for my cleaning appts. because I’m such a big fucking baby. I figure if I keep my teeth & gums super duper healthy, I’ll never have to deal with horrible awful Marathon Man stuff like root canals.
I’ll ask Marge if I can Fedex her to you. Stand by.
I totally hear you about needing a “good grade” at the dentist. I always got one until the last year or so (gettin older sucks).
Brace yourself for a really bad visit and you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.
Good luck!
I’m terrified of the dentist — mostly because of their criticism of my teeth. I have hereditary “problems” (which include still having a few baby teeth and a shoddy, greedy dentist filled all my teeth with silver when I was 13-14 years old), and the emotions in dealing with a new dentist every single time my insurance changed with my former job was too much. I still need to find ANOTHER one in my new city. Not looking forward to that. At all.
That said, I’m totally using your criticism remark. Well done.
I am RIGHT there with you (across the interwebs) – I put it off constantly because I just can’t force myself to floss, and EVERY time I go I hear about it.
I got A’s in EVERYTHING. Except gym…and apparently as an adult, the dentist! This leads me to put off going again, which leads to more time between cleanings, and so resumes the vicious cycle! Maybe if yours goes well I will make an appointment! Or maybe not
I liked going to the dentist one time. I was a teenager with braces and an expander, and because my mouth is so small, my regular dentist couldn’t get his hands in, so I had to go to a pediatric dentist.
I was really sad when I couldn’t go to that same dentist the next time- I liked him.
Why can’t all dentists be like pediatric dentists?
(also, I haven’t gone to the dentist since before my first pregnancy. and they say that pregnancy is really really bad for your teeth and gums. and I’m now on prego #2. Not looking forward to the next visit).
Keep your chin up, Fish! I am a daily flosser, a 2x/year my whole life dental visitor, and don’t drink pop or eat sugar. I just had two root canals last week because someone missed a crack under a filling many years ago.
It sucked a lot (especially throwing up everything I ate for the rest of the day) and my jaw still hurts. But now – no tooth pain! The criticism and feeling like a failure hurt, but sometimes, it’s just not your fault!! Also remember the children and elderly people whose teeth are in much worse shape than yours! 
I love this! Allergic to criticism!
Here is my dental nightmare that recently happened.
I love going to the dentist because it is the only doctor I hear say “You are healthy!” I went for my biannual cleaning at the beginning of January. I hear- your teeth are beautiful! You will have them for the rest of your life. A week later, my very last tooth on the top left chips. After I finished hyperventilating (I have a major fear of losing my teeth, probably a border line phobia) I call the dentist and make an appointment. He decides to drill out the mercury filling in that tooth (apparently those fillings eventually weaken your teeth and that is why it chipped. Also I have fillings only due to the intense gum chewing problem I had in junior high.) I did ok having that done but when the novocain wore off it hurt. And kept hurting. Kept me up all night hurting. So after the long weekend of tooth pain I went back and they readjusted my bite… and it still hurt. At this point every tooth on that side of my face hurt and I was miserable. I went to the chiropractor hoping it was a TMJ issue or my jaw was out of place (little mouth-big teeth-mouth open really wide a really long time- ok, it was a Hail Mary.) Long story a little shorter, when he replaced the cavity I it damaged my nerve and I needed a root canal. Root canal would have cost $700 WITH insurance. On a tooth no one can see. I decided to just pull the tooth. I cried. I am still sad. And grossed out. So much for having all my teeth until I die.
My allergy list is: levaquin and pain. The pain comes with a codicil that I am quick to cry and whimper and the flare up takes effect immediately. My dentist laughed but he now knows precisely the level of chickenry that he’s dealing with.
Good luck love.
Here’s a “Just Not My Fault” story for ya…
I had proper dental care all my life. I’ve had cavities and root canals. Been stuck and stung with needles and whatnot but, when I moved west in 2002, I noticed my left front tooth was loose.
Shortly after settling in I went to the dentist and found out I had a severe periodontal disease and that I was in serious danger of loosing all my teeth.
Since my diagnosis, I have lost 7 teeth and have spent out-of-pocket close to $50,000 (with insurance, my second job and some assistance from my parents [THANK YOU!]. I have four scalings a year and have even undergone a new laser surgery, which seems to have helped so much. I must keep to my cleaning schedule (Appointment this Thursday morning!) and it seems to help, most especially with the pain(s). I have done all of this in an effort to “save” what I have, even though at some point I know will loose them. All of them.
This condition is hereditary.
Not my fault.
So Fish, go to your appointment. Participate. Listen. Make an effort with your flossing. And regardless of the news you receive, know that it could be a lot worse. But it’s not.
Everything will be fine! Good luck.
Oh. My. God. You poor thing. I have horrible nightmares about teeth falling out and you have to deal with it in real life. I’m walking out to the dentist now, and when he does not tell me I have a severe periodontal disease, I am going to hug him and invite him to chastise me for not flossing.
Let us know how it goes!
I, like many of your other commenters, hate flossing. I just can’t force myself to do it regularly. One thing that has really helped in reducing criticism from my hygienist though, was switching to an electric toothbrush about two years ago. Not only does she say that my plaque buildup is much less (and which is evident in the reduced amount of scaling I usually need now), but the last time she measured my gums, the numbers had ALL gone up!
When I first go the electric, my gums bled even when I used the gentle mode and a gentle toothbrush head, but now I use regular (both setting & brush). The best part is that ours came with two electric bases and was only about $100 at Costco. If you can’t justify the expense, put it on your wedding registry
My sister sent us her cast off Sonicare toothbrushes. We love them!
Good luck Fish! I spent many years spending thousands on my teeth because of a combination of bad teeth genes and a dislike of flossing. I’ve had so much work done, I almost have nothing left TO turn into cavities! Thank goodness I have a great dentist who does an awesome job and now it’s been YEARS of regular cleanings and flossing a few times a week and I haven’t spent a crapload of money on my teeth in forever! Hallelujah! Hope you get good news! (and then you go home and learn to love flossing!)
I had an awful dentist as a child, really mean and miserable and used to be very painful. However I then got lucky when I grew up and my best friend became a dentist and then I realised that sometimes, going to the dentist isn’t awful. We now live thousands of miles from each other… but I still make her to my check ups and cleanings whenever I see her!
By the way – I now have an advert for dentists on the bottom on this page!
Well, crap. Earlier this week, I was thinking to myself, “I think I have a dentist appointment soon.” Cause you know keeping up with my appointment reminder cards would be a little much for the mountain of receipts I keep in my purse.
Then yesterday, I read your post and all the heinous reminders of going to the dentist come flooding back. I was in the clear with good reports in the last visit, but the stress of what he could say freaks me out! (And I too have sensitivities to latex.)
What do I get first thing this morning? Oh yeah, it’s the reminder call of my dentist appointment for later today. The fates or at least the internet have it out for me.
Sodium Laurel Sulfate- is that an ingredient in shampoos and the like?
Yeah. Turns out, my peel-until-they-bleed lips were a result of a reaction to SLS in my toothpaste and facewash. Ditched those and two days later, I was healed. After months and months of misery.